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Article from Issue #30 Happy Love Month! (February 7, 2021)

Celebrate this Valentine's Day with a healthy dose of self-love

by Rosemary Wicks

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Source: School of Natural Health Sciences

You wouldn’t think there’d be any controversy when it comes to the phrase “self-love” or “love yourself,” but ah! There is, and I have come across it in social situations more than once. Some people seem to think that by focusing on self-love, you’re being narcissistic, but there is nothing narcissistic about love. In loving yourself, you don’t take away from the love you give to others, but create an environment where self-nurture enables you to flourish.

I’m sure you are all familiar with that in-flight safety announcement that tells you to secure your oxygen mask first before helping someone else with theirs? Self-love is a lot like that. Loving yourself first doesn’t mean you don’t love your children, or spouse, friends or family. It means you need to take care of yourself first in order to be able to love them and care for them.

No matter what your relationship status may be, this Valentine’s day should be about love in every sense of the word. Let’s make a point of accepting ourselves, flaws and all. Loving all that we are because of who we are. Feeling good about our lives, bodies, individual personalities and unique strengths.

Self-love – Dose Nº1

Treat Yourself

What’s Valentine’s day good for if not for treating and spoiling? Whether you have someone to look good for or not, take some time out, spend some money and make yourself feel good! Maybe you’ve been wanting to get your hair done, or indulge in a sneaky spa day. Perhaps you simply want to venture somewhere new and leave behind your responsibilities for the day, (or the weekend)! Whatever it may be that you’ve been putting off, remember life is short, you deserve a treat, and it’s a special occasion!

Self-love – Dose Nº2

Set The Mood

Make your home somewhere you love to be. Light scented candles, put on some smooth jazz, order those home improvement items you’ve had your eye on and do some evening yoga/meditation or dancing by the fireplace (or favourite area of the house). Make your home a sanctuary for relaxation, good vibes and contentment. Studies show you sleep better and feel happier when your home feels homely.

Self-love – Dose Nº3

Accept Compliments

One habit we get into when we don’t feel good enough, especially women, is not accepting a compliment for what it is. Ever notice yourself or someone else explaining away reasons why a compliment is not justified? When a compliment like: “Your hair looks lovely today,” is met with a response like: “Does it? It’s such a mess! I need to wash it,” etc. It’s a way of saying. “No, my hair is not worthy of your praises, I hate it, it’s not good enough.”

When given a compliment, accept it with a smile and a simple cheery “Thank you!” We need to stop emphasising insecurities by putting ourselves down when someone tries to build us up.

Self-love – Dose Nº4

Be Compassionate

Don’t be so hard on yourself when you make mistakes, or when you don’t do things exactly right, or fit the criteria you think you need to. We’re not all copies of the same cardboard cut-out, and as the great Albert Einstein once said: “Everybody is a genius, but if you judge a fish by it’s ability to climb a tree, it will spend it’s whole life thinking it’s stupid.”

You are but one of many human beings on this earth that make mistakes just like you, and feel inadequate just like you and have strengths and weaknesses as you do. Don’t dwell on the things you did wrong, go easy on yourself. Look at the bad times as magnificent pivotal points of self-growth. Life can be hard enough, why make it harder by being harsh on yourself?

Self-love – Dose Nº5

Ignore the Others

One of the main driving forces for our decision making, is taking into consideration what other people will think of those choices. Sometimes, it matters a whole lot. If you’re designing a product for the public, you need to consider in great depth how the public will respond. But if you live your entire life to please others, spending your energy caring about what strangers may say under their breath, you’ll never be relaxed and happy with your authentic self. Be you, be free, be happy.